Friday, November 18, 2011

Back Pain

     If you’re like me or my dad or an old man out there, you suffer some kind of back pain and most people will have you believe you can’t do anything about it. You have to adapt your lives because for the next however-long-you-decide-to-live you’re going to be bottoming for some serious uncomfortable and range-restricting back problems.

I have terrible lower back issues. I think it started since I was in high schoolAnyway, after years of dealing with back problems I learned a few things—one of those things was you can fix your problems! Yea, the amazing thing about the body is that it can heal itself. Sometimes it just takes a little work.

1.      Unless you have a prescription or doctor recommendation, cool it on the pain pills! Follow the recommended dosage and recognize that there can be side effects to even pain medication.
2.      STRETCH. In the beginning I found out that if I stretched my lower back really well, my pain would alleviate throughout the day. Simple stretches like toe-touches, leaning back, cat stretch, and side stretches really helped.
3.      Sit up. When you spend all day slouching, you put excess pressure on your spine that it’s not used to dealing with (your back muscles and abdomen muscles are supposed to work together to keep you upright).
4.      Stop doing floor crunches.
5.      Start doing lower back exercises. Google “lower back exercises.” There are dozens. Do the exercises slowly and with good form.
6.      Do abdomen exercises. As stated before, your back muscles and ab muscles work together to keep you upright. Work on your abs, just don’t do them on the floor, because that position allows your spine to lie flat which is NOT a natural position for your spine. Instead
7.      Keep your spine curved. Your spine has a natural curve, and sometimes when we do exercises we forget to keep that curve, especially when we do bench exercises. There’s a reason the backs of most chairs have a curve in them. I found out when I worked out (especially lifting heavy weights with my legs) my back would be in so much pain I would have to quit. Then I realized I wasn’t keeping my spine properly curved, rather pushing it flat against the bench. Once I remember proper form, my back pain started getting better.
8.      Massages help. Ice doesn’t. Heat doesn’t. Ice and heat only temporarily distract from pain; however, there is some evidence that regular massages *can* help.
9.      Sleep on your side. When you sleep on your back (I don’t care how good you think your bed is) your spine is forced into an awkward shape and ergo suffers.
10.  See a doctor. I’m not a doctor. Take my advice with a grain of salt and talk to someone who has a degree in helping you.

(Please kindly do more research)

Monday, June 27, 2011

If things aren't working out - You can still turn that relationship around

Even if you're having a really hard time in a relationship like things aren't working, you're not getting along, someone's in your face - you can still can turn that relationship around. Take a piece of paper, and for the next thirty days sit down and write all the things that you appreciate about that person. Think about all the reasons that you love them, you appreciate their sense of humor, you appreciate how supportive they are. And what you'll find is that when you focus on appreciating and acknowledge their strengths, that's what you'll get more of, and the problem will fade away -- MARCI SHIMOFF. 


Saturday, June 25, 2011

Level of maturity

Whatever the theorists says about anger, from my own reflection and understanding, anger is caused by one’s lack of understanding and love. If you have the capacity to understand others and love others, you won’t get angry.

If you have love, will you get angry? So it is because one lacks the ability to love others that causes anger and in truth, to love others means to accept others for what and who they are.

If each one of us learns to put ourselves in the offending person’s shoe, we can be more understanding. The problem is, we are too quick to react instead of listening and thinking about what is being said to us.

OUR ability to control OUR anger shows OUR level of maturity.

What good can anger bring you? Nothing!
Some people say it is alright to get angry. Most people use anger as a form of self defense.
The truth is self defense has nothing to do with anger. If you are in a position where your life is threatened, by all means defend it but do it without anger.

Anger is the result of lack of self control. When you loose self control, it means you have lost your rationality. You may have noticed how irrational people behave. They are often the cause of problems for other people.
It may not possible for you to live life without ever getting angry, but you can do your best to control yourself and live without it as much as possible. Just don’t get angry and be positive.

Okay that's it for now. Enjoy your day.

Friday, June 17, 2011


Often we pretend everything is okay around our friends or family. We hide our true feelings, keep secrets, and tell lies most of the time in society. As we are shaped to believe that its better to hide our emotions and feelings. We are expected to put a smile on our face, paint this appearance that life is a bowl of cherries. Only most of the time it can be a bowl of rotten cherries.

If we just pretend everything is perfect maybe all our problems will go away. If we just shove them under the rug, hide them in our past, no one will ever know the truth. I watched people do this hide their feelings, thoughts,secrets, and pasts because they were afraid of losing someone, or being laughed at, or ridiculed.

It used to be taught you should leave your skeletons in your closet, leave it there, and pretend it never happen. The silence, the pain within, holding it back, a dirty little secret as society would say. Through out time our society has taught us to lie to ourselves, our partners, and we should be ashamed of our mistakes. Keep it a secret! What will people think of you. How ever small they are, or how large they are, its better to keep quiet. The thing is we find out through time when we share our stories, we begin to heal, and we find out we are not alone. We are able to release the pain and suffering. We can walk away from those mistakes, and not feel guilty about them. We just made mistakes, they were errors in our judgement, but when we allow other people to prohibit us from making our own choices they rob of us of our freedom to be ourselves.

We should not hide our mistakes and think they they are so terrible that we don't have room to move forward and let them go and be free of it. We are not a bad person for making mistakes, or making bad judgements along the way. At the same time people should not gossip about it, or think they can never make the same mistakes. I've watched myself judge others and found myself making the same mistakes over time. I am no better than the next man over from me. We all deserve to be loved where we are in the moment.

We judge others who have drug addictions, or alcoholics, or gamblers, but we all have addictions of some kind. We look for some way to deal with our issues, and escape the pain and suffer in some way. Some of us can walk away from it easily, and others can not. We use these things as crutches to get along in life. At some point when we learn to share what is going on inside with others and releasing all that pent up emotion we find healthy ways to cope, and don't need those crutches anymore. We are able to share with others, and find out we don't have any dirty secrets, just mistakes, and we can choose to make our lives better each day.

We are not alone in this world, and some one out there some where is experiencing the same things we are. When we realise this, we have a sense of compassion and understanding for one another. When we listen to someone, that helps them heal, and we love them that makes them feel stronger, having more courage to move on from their pasts. We heal each other by being there for one another.

We don't need to hide anything when we are healthy, we don't have anything to feel ashamed of, or feel guilty of, and we are human. We will never be perfect, probably being perfect is accepting our mistakes and accepting the fact that we are imperfect. We should never make someone feel unworthy of us for making a mistake. We may be disappointed, we might not understand always, but it is not fair to judge them without walking in their shoes first. You've probably never been down that road. We should encourage them to live better, love themselves, and make better choices for their lives.

We never have to consider our mistakes as being dirty little secrets. They are just what they are. They are mistakes. We have learned and grown from each one. It made us stronger, made us the person we are today. We should be proud of who we are regardless of the mistakes we have made.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

How to Forget Someone You Still Really Like – and Move On With Your Life

I have been asked by a few people and I've been asking myself  “How to forget someone you still really like”, most of the time the question relates to the ex whom they still have a clear picture of in their mind, or the person who they’ve started dating who pretty much has just left them for any reason (somebody else, things not working out, and the worst of all: just gone missing without a trace)

I also realize that many times when this question is asked, the answer you are hoping for is really beyond the normal “get busy, take time out, let time heals it etc”. Most people who ask this question are feeling some kind of emotional pain rooted somewhere in their heart or mind that they can’t concentrate on any task given to them. Normally this pain happens on the first few hours they ‘get dumped’ or ‘felt like they’ve lost someone’, or whom they finally got the courage to ‘leave’.
Of course, I must tell you that there is no ‘super quick fix’ that will completely take away the hurt right now, despite I always look for one whenever I feel hurt by people close to me (romantic or not). In fact, there is no such thing as the quick ‘how to forget someone you still really like or love’, because it is impossible to forget something that has happened in the past whether it is a minute ago, weeks or months ago.

But what you can do though, is to get over the painful hurt feeling as quickly as possible so that you can survive the hurt, able to concentrate on your days, and most importantly move on with your life whether you want to get back to dating scene with a more ‘ready’ mind, or just move on with your life without feeling the hurt anymore.

So here are some things that you can do:

1. Accept the fact that you are hurt, and accept that there is no quick fix, that there is a process to forget someone.

Yes this is the easiest thing to do that you have to start accepting that there is nothing you can do to make the hurt go away right this second. Especially, if you feel like you don’t have anyone else to talk to because the person you count on is really the person who hurts you.

2. Do something physical ON YOUR OWN

When I said ‘on your own’, I meant ‘on your own’. There is no need to pretend you can forget things in your mind by talking to others. You need a ‘me time’ right now or in the next 24 hours. Of course, you will feel so bad that you are taking it in for yourself, but trust me it will numb your hurt painful emotion quicker. So do something physical such as jogging while listening to inspirational music, lock yourself in your room and sleep for the next six hours, playing music instrument, singing karaoke as loud as you can, bowling on your own, shooting basketball or just anything physical on your own – you get the idea.

3. Writing a blog or a diary – both online and offline

If reading articles such as this one will take up some of your mind space, writing blog entries or diary entries will actually make it even better. It is one of the most effective and quickest method on how to forget someone, or forget the hurt you get from that someone. Write exactly how you feel, write about how you survive this whole thing. Before you know it, your strong urge earlier of wanting to call that person right at that moment will slowly subside. You will soon feel calmer and able to function a little bit more.

4. Beyond this, time will heal

Yes, it’s time for me to mention that the best thing on how to forget someone you like is still to give it time. However, it helps if you stop focusing on contacting them in the meantime. In fact, try to minimize contact (no contact is even better) so that you can move on with your life quicker.